Kindness and humility: the two most attractive features in a partner

By Nina Steele 

One of the advantages of getting older, I find, is that you get to consolidate your values. You know what you can no longer put up with and the things that give you inner peace and joy become clearer. Looking back now that I am in my 40s, there are things I wished I had never done, but what I do also understand is that, there are no shortcuts in life. Everyone has to go through various phases of growth. It is not what happened in the past, it is the lessons we learn from it.

When I met my husband, I knew straight away that he was the right man for me. Unlike the men I had dated before, he was kind and humble. While kindness is a quality most of us will welcome in a partner, humility on the other hand is a different beast, after all isn’t today’s culture all about showing off?

My African roots mean that I have inherited a culture in which everything is about external appearance. Even people who have nothing feel the need to show off, by among other things, driving luxury cars for example. Of course the West is as materialistic, if not more. When your ego has been indulged for so long, learning humility is like learning to walk.

Meeting my husband was what helped shape my new outlook on life. It really matters who you bring into your life, particularly who you marry or live with. Of course if like me, you believe in destiny, then you realise that nothing happens that wasn’t meant to be. Those people who are necessary for our personal growth will come into our life when the time is right. You have to be willing to grow though. Opportunities for change will be presented to you. It is up to you to recognise them for what they are and seize the moment.

For many of us, as we mature, we realise what matters to us most, and the truth that is within all of us, reveals itself. It helps to know what you want. If you are all over the place trying to be all things to all people, or desperate for others to like you, then chances are that you will not grow into the person that you were meant to grow into, and the price for that, is of course suffering.

I often breathe a sigh of relief whenever I think of my past. Boy has it been a roller coaster ride so far! It is far from over yet, of course. Who knows what the future has in store. One thing I am sure of however, is that meeting and marrying my husband has been one of the greatest gifts. Through his kindness and humility, I have been able to awaken that part of me that was dormant. That in essence is the purpose of a relationship, to help you find your own truth and ultimately, peace and happiness.

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