Menu 

General Topics

Back to General Topics...

How did you make your final decision? (7 replies)

GemmaRowlands
6 years ago
GemmaRowlands 6 years ago

Okay, so I've read a lot of the stories on the website, but I would like to hear from everybody! What helped you to make your decision not to have children, if it is one that you made by choice?

Are you worried that you might change your mind and regret the decision that you made in the future when it is too late? Or do you worry that your partner might change their mind and go elsewhere?

I wish you all the best; everybody needs to stick together!

MattB
6 years ago
MattB 6 years ago

I let my wife make the decision. I think the instinct for children is stronger in a woman. I didn't want to think that in years ahead that I had withheld that from her.

Julez Fitzmond
6 years ago
Julez Fitzmond 6 years ago

I just had to keep thinking over and over it, because I know that I'm at the age where it will soon become impossible to have children whether I want them or not. But I just thought that it would be selfish for me to have children and then regret that decision later on. It would be much better if only I was living with regret rather than children, too.

Jack
6 years ago
Jack 6 years ago

I've never had an interest in kids and don't particularly like being around them. I never thought I would be a good father and still don't think I would have been or ever will be. It's just one role I've never really wanted to undertake.

I'm not concerned that I'll regret the decison later on in life, it has been many years now and I don't feel any different.

I have had women leave me even after being upfront and them agreeing, to then go pursue someone else for children. This does worry me.

eeyorebob
6 years ago
eeyorebob 6 years ago

Jack you sound very level headed. To know you don't want children not that you cant have them must be a very difficult decision. Seems much easier when that decision is taken away from you and you find you cant have them at all.

Jack
6 years ago
Jack 6 years ago

I don't think my decision is any more difficult, just a different one. I'd say having a choice means I am in control and I've chosen not to. I don't dare think how those who genuinely can't and do want a child feel, because that choice has been taken away and ultimately that control over whether they have a child or not. I don't feel that's easier.

I just really don't think I am father material. Others have said to me you won't know until you have a child. That's a rather big gamble I am not willing to take.

Like mothers have natural instincts to mother and nurture their children, I feel men are the same. I just don't feel this.

Dawn Kells
6 years ago
Dawn Kells 6 years ago

I don't want children for a number of reasons.

(1) I'm terrified of what pregnancy and childbirth would do with my body.
(2) I'm scared of commitment, and a child is just about the most commitment you can ever get.
(3) It is a huge step, and I'm too selfish.

I often feel as though I'm going against what is expected of me, but there's not much that I can do about the way that I feel, is there.

eeyorebob
6 years ago
eeyorebob 6 years ago

I don't think I meant it was an "easier" decision just obviously different. I still get down and upset about it and I know that there are those fortunate than me who can have and do have the children I yearn for. If people feel they wont make good parents (mother or father) then to make the decision not to put that to the test and prove themselves right is a very noble decision.

Back to General Topics...

Copy link
Powered by Social Snap