Finding love online when you are childless

By Nina Steele 

Childless middle aged womenEvery so often, I get emails from both men and women asking me if I could arrange for singles to get together. Some of these are from genuine people who are keen to find a decent partner to share their lives with, while others are mostly from people who are looking for a ticket to the West.

I have nothing against anyone dreaming of a better life in the West. After all, I was one of those people myself, once upon a time. What I do mind however, is the fact that I am being asked to play a part in an undertaking that is likely going to lead to someone being taken advantage of, and having their heart broken. A man from Africa even told me exactly what he was looking for: “a white lady aged 29-36. Mostly from Canada”. He obviously has never heard of the saying that beggars can’t be choosers.

Of the emails that I consider to be genuine, one particularly touched me very deeply. It was from a Western woman. She is in her early 40s with a good job. She cannot have children of her own because of infertility, however, she is keen to adopt. She would ideally like to find a man who would be willing to go through the adoption process with her. In her email she said: “I have a stable job and home that I love, good health now, have oodles and gazillions of love, enough time and willingness to be a parent to an adopted child, but I wonder….where on earth can I find a man who wants to meet a life partner like me? To add, marriage would be very welcome. I see that as the right step for me personally, and for the child who would have the combined love and support of two married parents working together as a team”.

Everyone deserves to be happy, particularly those who take relationships seriously and are willing to put the work in. I have no time for people who say they want to be happy, yet they expect happiness to come knocking on their door, without much effort on their part.

Naturally, as is not a dating site, I cannot play cupid, even if I wanted to. And so my advice to the woman mentioned above was to tread very carefully, while looking for love online. I do hope that her story has a happy ending.

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