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If a man tells you he doesn’t want children don’t stay with him hoping he will change his mind

By Nina Steele 

John CenaNo sooner had the announcement been made that John Cena and Nikki Bella were ending their 6 year relationship than speculations started about who is to blame. From reading comments online, neither party comes out of the situation with their reputation intact. There are those who say Nikki Bella only has herself to blame for hoping John Cena will change his mind about having kids, when he made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want children, and as for Nikki’s fans, they are accusing John of being selfish and a commitment phobe among other things.

When I wrote about John Cena’s relationship with Nikki Bella some months ago, I did point out that Nikki had known from the start that John didn’t want kids. And she herself pointed out that he made it clear to her that just because he asked her to marry him didn’t mean they would start a family. And she said she was ok with not having children too.

Well, now, since news of their breakup was announced, we are being told that giving up on motherhood was too much for Nikki Bella. It transpires that she was hoping John Cena would change his mind at some stage, regardless of the fact that he seems to have remained consistent on the issue. People.com reminded readers of a conversation the couple had during an episode of their reality TV show. During their exchange, which took place in 2013, Nikki is reported as saying: “I do want to be a mom. I feel like I’d be missing out.” To which John is said to have replied: “I’m going to choose my words carefully, I can’t give you that.”

If as is reported, the issue of children is the main reason behind their breakup, then this should serve as a warning to every woman out there who gets into a relationship with a man she doesn’t see eye to eye with on this issue. This false hope some women often have about changing a man, when all the signs are that he will never change, never stops to amaze me. When will people in general ever learn that the only people we can change is ourselves? Even if a man gives in and does have a child with a woman to make her happy, what hope is there for the relationship to survive, let alone be a healthy one?

Yes there have been instances when men who said they didn’t want children, turned out to love the whole experience when the baby came on the scene. But it is also true that in many cases, what women end up with, are men who resent them because they feel trapped in a situation they didn’t want to be in. Why even take a chance on which way it will go?

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