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It takes a strong woman to end a relationship particularly if that means saying goodbye to her hopes of becoming a mother

By Nina Steele 

Kylie MinogueMy respect for Kylie Minogue has gone up a notch if reports that she has ended her engagement to her fiancé, because he had become too close to another woman, are correct. The fact that she is 48 and was hoping to start a family with him, means that her decision to end the relationship may also mean the end of her dream of becoming a mother, and that to me takes quite a lot of courage.

It is heartening to read stories of strong women who value themselves enough not let men disrespect and take advantage of them. Men will treat you exactly the way you allow them to treat you. If you don’t value yourself, then don’t expect a man to value you.

Of course there are plenty of good men out there who will never contemplate taking advantage of a woman even if they know they can get away with it. Unfortunately, there are also plenty of others who will never hesitate, and it is heartbreaking to see that scenario play itself out.

It is fair to say that the type of courage Kylie has shown often comes with age. Most of us will be honest enough to admit that once upon a time, we let ourselves be taken advantage of. I certainly did. I remember as a teenager visiting a boyfriend, only to come face to face with his other girlfriend. I sat there hoping that he would ask her to leave, instead, it was me who was asked to leave. I remember the tears and the humiliation I felt then. In spite of all that, I was willing to take him back if he asked. That is how low I thought of myself. Respect is earned, it is not a birth right. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.

In a 2014 interview, Kylie was already gearing herself up for the possibility that motherhood may never happen for her. She said then: “I don’t know how many more times I can say, if it happens, it happens. But I think maybe part of this frame of mind I’m in, trying to be calm and accepting and at peace with where I am, is really acknowledging that it just might not be written on the pages for me. You can’t have everything, so I’d rather just focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have”.

I wish Kylie peace and happiness, whatever the future holds for her.

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