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The assumptions people make about those without children are often laughable

By Nina Steele 

Childless woman under pressureA while ago, I met an old friend for drinks. We hadn’t seen each other in years. She is a mother and so our chat inevitably led to children. Upon hearing me say that I had moved on from wanting children and was happily childfree, she still felt the need to offer me her eggs. She obviously didn’t bother to read my story, because had she done so, she would have realised that my eggs were never an issue in the first place.

But anyway, that wasn’t the issue that riled me the most. It was the fact that she assumed that I was willing to put my life on hold for ever in the pursuit of motherhood. She wasn’t convinced that anyone could ever be truly happy without children. It didn’t matter that she was financially broke and was going through a divorce at the time, for whatever reasons, she still believed that motherhood gave her the upper hand. The stories people tell themselves in order to avoid dealing with the reality of their lives!

Well, needless to say that rekindling our friendship was short lived. I really no longer have time for this type of nonsense. Life is too precious and too unpredictable to waste it on people and things that do not contribute to my wellbeing. I have worked too hard to be where I am today to let other people’s insecurities and personal issues get in the way of my peace.

Funny enough, most of my ‘friends’ on Facebook have children. I don’t send friend requests anymore, and haven’t done so for a while. Since the majority of the people I am friends with are the ones who asked me to be their friend, I assume that most of them know what I do, because it is clearly stated on my profile. It is obvious for anyone to see that I use social media mainly to promote my website.

My Facebook feed is full of stories about parenthood. I don’t mind them at all. What I do mind however, is when someone finds an issue with the articles I write. It happens rarely but it does happen every once in a while.

I had to block a woman for that reason. She put a rude comment under an article I wrote. It was her who asked to be my friend knowing my views on society’s obsession with children. I draw a line between a constructive input and one that is blatantly disrespectful. Some people are not worth engaging in a discussion with. Blocking them is the only option.

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