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“You will change your mind”

By Dann Alexander 

Those who have chosen not to have children are likely to find it insulting to be told that they will change their mind. It is the automatic assumption that making a decision that goes against the established norm, can never be final. A typical reaction in a pro-natalist society. There is this unfortunate tendency to forget that not everyone wants or is capable of having children.

Of course, some people do change their mind. Women who have been sterilised can have it reversed as explained in this article, and stories of men going through a vasectomy, only to have it reversed further down the line, has become common. Others who do change their mind but want to forgo any further surgical procedure may consider adoption as an option. I commend anyone who has changed their mind and become a parent.

One thing that life has taught me is to “never say never”. Because of that, I often make a point of saying that I am 99.99% sure of my decision not to have children. I allow myself the small extra percentage in the event that for some reason or another, I do end up having a change of heart. As someone who is passionate about being childfree and never wanted to have children, the very idea that I may change my mind one day is rather frightening.

I like to think that any parental instincts that I do have, transpose into my passion for animals and standing up for them. With three cats and two dogs, some days it feels like a zoo. I am protective of my “kids” and care about them the way parents do about their children.

I have been told on multiple occasions that my mind will be changed. I always respond with the joke that there is nothing wrong with the mind I already have. Well maybe there is a chance I will change my actual mind when I think of my sense of humour, but I digress….

If you have chosen not to have children, have you ever been told that “you will change your mind?” If so, what was your reaction? What advice will you give anyone who is not sure how to respond to such a statement? Also, if the person who made the statement is a family member or a friend, how has this affected your relationship?

Based just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada, Dann Alexander is the Author of Planned UnParenthood – Creating a Life Without Procreating which is available at Amazon and other online retailers. Twitter @WriterDann

Childless couples and legacy

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