Instead of the gift of a child, we have been given the gift of a strong and happy marriage

By Nina Steele 

I am grateful every waking moment for the life that we have, including a very happy and strong marriage. My own mother never got that chance and ended up having 7 children by 6 different men. For me life is not about wanting to fit in, but instead my spiritual beliefs mean that what matters to me most is to always keep growing as a person and live a life that is overwhelmingly positive. Negativity for me is like a bad smell that follows you around and will end up attracting the very things that you don’t want in your life.

Of course none of us can claim to be perfect and I do have my moments, however, because I am aware of what dwelling in negativity can do, I do my best to stay positive most of the time. As a couple, we live our life on our own terms, not what we think society wants us to be. We are fortunate enough in that we share the same values, which is why instead of leading to our demise, infertility brought us even closer together.

We live at a time when divorce has become so common that growing old together as a couple is now viewed as quite an achievement, and even more so if people stay together not because of the children but just because they actually like each other. According to this Guardian article, as much as 42% of marriages that took place in the UK in 2012 will end in divorce. I think most people recognise that in this world of instant gratification, having a strong and healthy relationship is not something that happens overnight. You have to want to stay together and be willing to go that extra mile to make the relationship work. That we are thriving as a couple is not lost on either one of us, after all, our relationship has survived the destructive force that infertility often is.

Blessings come in different forms. Some people see their children as their blessing while for us it is our marriage. Having children has its benefits no doubt but ultimately the children will fly the nest and the relationship between the two parents is what will remain. You often hear of parents who realise that they have become complete strangers once the children leave home and many inevitably end up divorcing as a result. Unlike these couples, not having children means that we are able to focus entirely on our relationship. You either like each other or you don’t; you are not staying together for the sake of anyone.

The gift of a happy marriage in today’s world is not something that every couple will experience, in the same way that not everyone will end up having children. Instead of the gift of a child, we have been given the gift of a strong and happy marriage and we are immensely grateful for it.