If childless by choice, do you sometimes fear that you may come to regret your decision?

By Nina Steele 

Even though we are childless not by choice, we have both noticed a hardening of our resolve to get on with our life and enjoy it to the full. It is amazing sometimes how one can go from feeling powerless in the face of a challenge to gradually feeling a total sense of acceptance and regained power.

I very much doubt that we will one day sit down and feel sorry for ourselves for not having children; that is my honest assessment. Yes I do not possess a crystal ball and so I cannot predict our future. However, the one thing I can say is that our determination to enjoy our life as it is, is growing stronger by the day, and the very idea of feeling sorry for ourselves in old age for example is something that I do not see happening.


  1. Julez Fitzmond says

    I’m not – but I would urge people that they should think very, very hard about the decision that they’re making, because once your body is no longer able to carry a child then that will be it and there will be nothing that you can do about it. It might even help if you were to write a list of all of the things that are for or against, as looking at the list would help you be sure and secure in the decision that you’ve made.

    • I would think that making such a decision would have been thought through very carefully and will not be made on a whim. Some people have a completely different view of life and of their place in society and don’t view children as a must, far from it and they should be commended for it. Everyone is expected to conform to what is seen as the norm and so it takes someone with immense strength of character to go against the grain.

  2. It is a worry of mine, but I think that as long as you take the time to properly think about why you’re making that decision, you should find that you can come to one that you’re not going to regret. I worry that I will hit the menopause and think “damn, why didn’t I have children” but there are lots of things that you could come to regret. Be confident and assured and you should find your path.

    • Julez Fitzmond says

      You may well think that – but the menopause can be a very, very confusing time for women whether they have children or not, and it will all simply be a part of accepting the stage of life that you’re in and accepting the person that you have become. Everyone has worries at each and every life stage, but you WILL get through them.

      • I can imagine it will be confusing. But it’s so scary just to think “oh, this is it” and then suddenly there’s absolutely nothing to be done about it anymore. I know it’s probably a little selfish of me to be speaking like this to people who have never had the choice – at least I have had that luxury – but it’s one of those decisions that has a definite time limit on it.

  3. Having children is really not all that it is cracked up to be. particularly in today’s world where I hear of competing mothers at the school gate etc. It looks like instead of the joy that it is expected to bring, many parents now feel as though they have to keep up with other parents. Have a look on facebook and you will see what I mean. I do feel relieved that my husband and I will not have to put up with all this.

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