Gena’s Story: My husband’s unwavering support has meant that childlessness has not been an issue in our marriage

Childless couple with dogAfter my initial shock at finding out that because of a genetic disorder, my chances of becoming a mother were pretty much zero, my first thought was: ‘who would want to be with me?’ That was over 15 years ago. I am now in my 40s and back then, you didn’t hear many people say that they were happily childless. And to make matters even more of a challenge, I had no point of reference in my own family. Sometimes it helps in cases like this to have someone in the family or the community who also never had children. Instead, everyone around me gave the impression that being a parent was the best thing that had ever happened to them.

In terms of my love life, the one thing I was not going to do, was lie about my situation to anyone I was dating. I knew I was taking a huge risk and that my openness could end up backfiring on me, but I saw no other options. None of the men I dated up until I met my husband, made me feel as though they were bothered. One of them even said he would happily adopt a child with me. However, as the years went by, I started to accept my situation. I was no longer afraid of the idea of never becoming a mother.

I met my husband in my 30s. He was divorced with a child he had very little contact with. I told him everything from the start, and his first reaction was that it made absolutely no difference to the way he felt about me. I also found out that the troubles in his marriage started with the birth of his son. And so, understandably, parenthood for him carries not happy memories, but mostly pain.

Our family consist of the two of us, plus our dog. Our love for animals is a major part of our life. We are both involved with animal charities and have organised fund raising events for some of them in the past.

I cannot recollect the last time we discussed not having a child together. It is a subject that is now firmly in the past. We both understand how lucky we are to have each other and to have the life that we have. Earning a decent enough salary from our respective jobs has given us the opportunity to do a lot in terms of hobbies, including holidays abroad. What’s there not to like?

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  1. Hello Gena. Thanks for sharing your story and for inspiring others. That is what this website is all about. To show the world that happiness and joy is just around the corner for all of us, and that ultimately, it is up to us to make it happen. I love how so many of us are living our lives on our own terms. Of course it often takes time to reach that level of peace in one’s life. But as your story shows, it is always possible if we put our minds to it. I wish you and your husband the very best for the future.

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