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Hana’s Story: My Buddhist faith has helped me make sense of my life as a childless woman

Childless Korean womanI moved to the UK from Korea over a decade ago for a better life and have now made it my home. I was already in my 30s when I first arrived and the main thing on my mind was to integrate. Back then, my English was very limited and I knew that unless it improved, I would not only be unable to integrate fully, but crucially, I would never be able to find a decent job. With all that to think about, I wasn’t in a hurry to find a partner, let alone have children.

Now in my 50s, I am proud to say that I have done rather well for myself. I live in a part of London that is home to one of the largest Korean communities in the country. It was a deliberate choice to live close to other Koreans. Those who were here before me helped me find my feet. It would have been far more of a challenge had it not been for their help.

I am single and childless and don’t see it as a problem at all. Life has been pretty good to me since I left Korea. Living in the UK with all the perks that come with it, has been completely life changing. Goodness knows what my life would have been like had I still been in Korea.

My Buddhist faith has helped me make sense of my life. We all have a unique path in life and in order to be happy, you have to accept that path. Just because other people I know have children and have partners does not mean that I was destined for the same life. When you have tried everything, you have to accept whatever is left or you will never be happy.

I am an active member of my community with friends that I get on well with. Not having children has not changed me in any way. I have always been very outgoing and still am. There are others like me in the community and we just get on with our lives.

I am grateful for many things, particularly for the fact that I have always had a good health. I can count with one hand the times in my life when I have been ill. We take all these things for granted. Gratitude is important. I am grateful for my health and the fact that I can wake up each morning and go to work. My life is full as it is.

Would you like to share your story? Send it to: nina@nonparents.com

Comments

  1. Hi Hana, thanks for sharing your story. Spirituality is a major part of my life and so I understand how Buddhism helped you on your journey. It is a relief and a blessing to be able to make sense of one’s life. Often, what we are taught growing up is too limiting, which is why making a conscience decision to go beyond our limitations by learning more, matters. The more we know and understand, the greater our chances of being happy. Ignorance is the greatest threat to happiness. I wish you all the best.

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