Simon’s Story: I carry far too much baggage to be a good parent

Single childless manI would have laughed out loud had someone told me a few years ago that I would be moving abroad in my 50s to start a new life. Yet, that’s exactly what I did 2 years ago. After years of being deeply unhappy and single, it felt as if I was at a dead end. I no longer saw any future left for me in the UK. Because it wasn’t something I had always wanted to do, I wasn’t sure where to move to at first. All I knew was that I had to do something drastic or I would remain unhappy for the rest of my life. Needless to say that I am childless, and frankly, it’s not something that bothers me much. In fact, I honestly believe that I carry far too much emotional baggage to be a good parent.

Two of my friends live abroad. One in Australia and the other in The Gambia. I have been to visit both before and so I knew roughly what to expect if I chose to move to any one of these countries. In the end, I chose The Gambia, mainly because of the cost of living. So far, so good. I sold my house back in the UK and as a result, I have quite a fair bit of money to last me a while. I intend to invest in a new venture at some stage in the future.

I am happy to say that I have been in a relationship with a Gambian woman for over a year now. Mind you, most expats have a pick at some of the best looking women around, and yes I am not naïve enough to believe that these women want to be with us purely for who we are. I do understand that for some of them, if not all of them, men like me offer the chance of a lifestyle they could only dream about before.

I am also aware that having children is a big deal for Africans, which is why I steered clear of younger women, who understandably would want children at some stage. It is fair to say that the woman I am with is well past her childbearing years, although she hasn’t yet told me exactly how old she is. What I know however, is that she has a grown up son.

I am the happiest I have ever been in a very long time, and even though my partner may not be with me for purely altruistic reasons, the one thing I can say is that I have never felt so loved before. I hope our relationship stands the test of time. I am keeping my fingers firmly crossed.

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  1. Hi Simon, thanks for sharing your story. As an African by birth, I know all too well about the power that expats have over there, particularly when it comes to women, as you so accurately describe. I hope your new relationship continuous to flourish, and that The Gambia proves to be the making of you.

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