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Kelly’s Story: I despair at the amount of ignorance there is out there towards the childless

Childless white womanWhat I have learnt from experience is that, often, people are scared of women like me who know what they want. It’s no secret that whole industries are feeding on women’s insecurities. We are meant to only aspire to one thing, which is to follow in our mother’s footsteps by getting married and having children. When a woman refuses to buy into this ideal, she is made to feel as though something is wrong with her. That’s how I have been made to feel just because I have never wanted children and never made a secret of it.

I don’t understand why the onus should be on me to make others feel better, by not telling them the truth about not wanting children. It’s not my fault if people are narrow-minded to the point of assuming that all human beings are destined for the same fate. I despair at the amount of misunderstanding and ignorance there is out there towards the childless. Some people don’t even make an effort to understand that we have as much right as everyone else, and instead, they see us as a threat to their picture perfect idea of what life is.

My partner and I have no time for ignorance and whenever we have the chance, we try to educate people about the need for more people like us. Indeed more people should choose not to have children, particularly as overpopulation is now threatening to change the world beyond recognition. It’s no longer enough to advise people to have less children. I believe that point was passed long ago. We are now at the stage where advising people to not have children at all is required. It is the only way forward in my view.

No doubt that the same vested interest that has done nothing to discourage people from having too many children, will object. I once took part in a discussion on population growth and some of the views from people who you would think would know better, was shocking. Women are still viewed in many quarters as nothing more than child bearers. A man even suggested that women having careers is wrong. That was 2014. This shows how much work still needs to be done. At least people like us can sleep at night, knowing that our impact on the world in terms of the resources we consume is far less than that of a parent, particularly those with large families.

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Comments

  1. Hi Kelly, thanks for sharing your story. Fighting ignorance is one of the main objectives of this website and stories like yours are helping toward that goal. When I made the decision to specifically target Africa through social media advertising for a few months last year, because I knew how much ignorance there was on the continent regarding this issue, I was met with a barrage of abuse. I persevered and a year on, I can say that I have contributed to enlightening a fair number of people. Well at least some of those with access to the Internet. The more light we shed on this issue, the more progress we will make in ending the stigma against non-parents.

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