Lisa’s Story: I just love being single and childless

Happily single and childlessI’m 61 years old. I have never been married. I never had kids. And I love every minute of it! I was raised in a strict conservative pre-Vatican II Catholic Christian family. I’m the third oldest of eight kids. Six brothers, one sister, and myself. Four of my brothers are mentally disabled. But sadly, one of them passed away in July of 2000.

It wasn’t easy growing up in a family of 8 kids; especially with four disabled brothers. I used to babysit the youngest mentally disabled brother out in the backyard of my parents’ house when I was a teenager, and boy, was he very hard to handle! Because of my family growing up, as well as my Catholic upbringing, I decided not to get married and have kids. I wanted to work and travel instead of being a wife and a mother.

In my entire 41 years in the workforce, I have never been disciplined or fired from a job due to child care issues. An employer can always count on me to be there on time and put in a full day’s work. I don’t have to worry about leaving work early/staying home if my child is sick, or that I can’t get a babysitter, or daycare issues, or that I have to go to a teacher’s conference at my child’s school, and all of the other demands that come with raising a child. I don’t know how these women today can work a full-time job and take care of a family at the same time. I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry.

My mother didn’t work outside the home for nearly 30 years; from the time that my oldest brother (one of the disabled ones) until my sister started eighth grade. There was no way she could work a full-time job. She had to stay home and take care of us. When she did go back to work, she only worked part-time; mainly overnight Fridays and Saturdays as a switchboard operator. My father was the one who worked full time just to support us. But I thank God that my mother was there for us; especially when we came home from school. We weren’t raised by babysitters and nannies. Nor were we dumped into daycare centers as well.

I also like my privacy as well. I have been living on my own since 1982. Yes it’s been rough at times, but at least I have peace and quiet instead of a nagging husband and screaming kids! I like to come and go as I please. My Catholic upbringing also has a lot to do with it as well. I strongly believe what both the Bible and the Catholic Church teach when it comes to sex, marriage, family, and relationships. I’d rather be an old maid than a single parent!

I also don’t have patience with children. Not everybody is cut out to be a parent. At least I’m not contributing to the high divorce rate, child abuse and custody battles, and raising a kid in a single-parent household.

There’s nothing wrong with being single and childless. St. Paul says that the single person pleases The Lord and the married person pleases the spouse. Singleness is a gift. Don’t let anyone pressure you to get married and have kids if you don’t want to. It is your choice. It’s not somebody else’s. If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. It’s as simple as that.

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  1. Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing your story and for being so honest about your reasons for choosing to not marry, nor have children. You speak for a lot of people around the globe, both women and men, who have long understood that, in spite of what society would have us believe, choosing a different path to the mainstream is ok. You obviously have a lot of courage, because that’s ultimately the key ingredient needed to be happy when our choices are in complete contrast to those of the mainstream. I wish you all the best.

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