General Topics

My name is Grace C. Ono, I live in Lagos - Nigeria. I came across this community about three years ago during my lowest moment in life. I was faced with serious marriage crisis which has eventually led to separation. We were married for over a decade without children - we were unable to make babies. My ex pushed me out and got married to another, because he felt I won’t ever going to give him kids. Well, many of us here may be familiar with my story, because it was predominant in this community (nonparent.com) at the time, however I chose to conceal my identity.

I am thankful to Nina Steele who followed up on my story, but never judged me. She posted all my experiences here, her counsels and the comments from people in this community helped me to heal faster, and today I have accepted the situation, and fully ready to live again, and with better life aspiration.

My life experience may have hasten the above topic/dream to light, even though this passion was born in me many years before the immediate past three years of unpleasant experience.

Honestly, if there are people who are being thrown out of their marriages because they could not make children; and some have lost their only offspring at old age, or some people where never married and so don’t have kids, or some others chose to be child-free; then old age in a setting like Africa cannot be overlooked. The Africa society reckons more with those that have kids, or have their own immediate family; that is, father-mother-child. If you don’t fall within this category, and you are not wealthy enough to attract a faithful relative to live with you and help you when you become too old to help yourself, then old age is a big risk for you. Therefore this vision is paramount. There has to be a home such as this proposed one to attend to such needs, else old age will never be appreciated or desired.

Like I mentioned before, I have always have this dream and vision of being part and advocate of the elderly ones. I mean those who can no longer be heard or seen by the reason of their age and vulnerability. Those who have become as helpless as little children, who may be too weak to do certain chores, or diminish in their level of reasoning and thinking.

It grew from a passion to be a voice to the old, and provide care and love where needed. It is usually a pain in my heart whenever I hear of an abuse on the elderly. Or that a helpless one was denied his/her due because they were too old to fight. I think a professional will do this best.

Also most people cannot properly care for their aging parents due to carrier pursuit, family interest, business, or in an event they travel overseas. Some subscribe to living them in the hands of some relatives who have their own challenges and don’t care as much. Some of these caretaker could end up using the funds/resource meant for the elder one, on themselves. Dubiously siphoning cash and materials from the provider and not remitting same to the one they were meant for. A woman once left her old mother in the care of another villager (a relative though). When the woman sends fund for the mother’s upkeep, the keeper lavishes it on himself and live the elder with little or nothing. Eventually the elderly woman died of depression.

The old can last longer, and transit peacefully at the appropriate time if they are well taken care of.

It will be a good home and family for those who grew old being childfree or childless.

I propose to achieve this by running a living home for the elderly. The proposed location is in Lagos, Nigeria, for a start. The admission age of a resident shall be as from 60 years. A resident shall live in there for the rest of their days, except sponsors or relatives decide otherwise.

It is an enormous project and advice and suggestions from people with similar passion are welcome.

Grace C. Ono