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Better to be alone than be driven into a bad relationship out of desperation

By Nina Steele 

Single childless womanOne thing the Internet and social media particularly is good at, is the easy availability of free advice and wisdom. From wisdom quotes to people sharing their own experiences and expertise on specific issues, there is enough information around to help and inspire. What I like about the wisdom quotes particularly, is their ability to remind us of some of the old truths that are often deeply buried within us. Equally, there is always an opportunity to learn from other people’s experiences, whether good or bad.

On the latter point, the other day, I received a friend request from a woman who has recently made the decision to give up on her dream of becoming a mother. She has a youtube channel and in some of her videos, she opens up about her failed relationships and how, very early on in her life, she dreamt of meeting the right man and starting a family. Now in her mid-40s and single, she has bravely decided that it is time to start a new chapter, and close the door on that part of her life.

She describes herself as a hopeless romantic who imagined that true love would easily come about. What struck me most about her story is the fact that, even though she has always wanted children and is still hurting from having to give up on that dream, she refuses to lower her standards, by settling down with the first man that comes her way.

Whenever we lower our standards because we lack the courage to be true to ourselves, we ultimately end up paying a price for it. I myself had to learn the hard way. Of course no one is suggesting that one should always be intransigent and never compromise, that would be foolish. However, there is a difference between compromising whenever necessary, and not being true to oneself. To try to be something you aren’t in order to please others or in desperation, will only end in tears.

Which brings me back to my new online friend and her decision to remain true to herself. I salute her courage, because in today’s world where we are constantly put under pressure to conform, not many people are willing to swim against the tide. Whatever the future holds for her, I hope that she manages to find peace.

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