Online dating: are you limiting your options?

By Dann Alexander 

Several months ago, a friend shared with me her recent experience of having a profile on an online dating site. During an exchange, the topic of not wanting kids came up. She was very clear on her profile that she never wanted children. The guy she was exchanging messages with told her she was “limiting her choices”. She told me she removed her profile from this site out of frustration. I cannot say I blame her one bit.

The very idea that she would be accused of limiting her choices seems pretty ridiculous. By putting yourself out there, you are taking risks. However, it is important to note that you can take that risk without selling yourself short. Are you really limiting your options by being that open and honest with yourself?

I would say no. If anything, one may very well be increasing their options and opportunities to meet a person who shares the same personal direction. Men and Women who do not want kids may turn to online dating websites as an option to try and find someone who could share their personal life directions. It is easy to sympathize with those who may not want to be so open. The risk they run there is a risk of heartache and heartbreak. They may meet someone and have a few dates with them, find out they really like the person and then once the topic of kids comes up, everything can end right there in an instant.

Why sell yourself short? It is not worth it. My friend was right to be completely herself on her profile. I would submit that it would be equally unfair if you had a profile on these sites to be contacting people who say they want to have children. A pretty profile picture will not paint the whole story of that person’s life. If you are someone who does not want to have children, why would you waste the time of someone who does?

It is really unfair to you if you sell yourself short. If you are in the online dating game, be true to yourself and know that it is ok to believe in your choice. The number of people who will freely admit to not wanting children is growing. Awareness of the choice is increasing. It’s cliché but with awareness comes eventual acceptance.

Based just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada, Dann Alexander is the Author of Planned UnParenthood – Creating a Life Without Procreating which is available at Amazon and other online retailers. Twitter @WriterDann

Childless by choice

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