Why no one should be bullied into having children if they choose not to

Read the full article in the Huffington post:


  1. GemmaRowlands says

    I agree that is is shocking that so many people feel as though they have to have children for the sake of what other people think. It is such a personal decision that you should ensure that you are doing the right thing for you. If there are people who are putting pressure on you, let them know exactly how you feel, and tell them that you have thought long and hard about your decision and that you’re not going to change your mind. If they know that you’re sure and that you mean what you say, they may stop making their comments.

    • The fact remains that having children is what is expected of all of us. It is the conventional thing to do and most people don’t want to be the odd ones out. People who make the decision not to have children are obviously comfortable enough in their own ways that they are willing to defy convention and that is commendable. My husband was never keen on having children, however he felt obliged to go along, as I wanted them and like many other people in society he did not want to go against the grain. It is only when we could not have them that I myself realised that my maternal instinct was never that strong and so I too was unknowingly following convention.

  2. Julez Fitzmond says

    I don’t suppose that people stop to think just how bad it would be for a child to be brought into the world to parents that were bullied into it. They may resent their child because they had to change their life, and what life would that be for the child then?

  3. Nobody should be bullied into anything, ever, let alone something that is as important and life changing as having a child. Whenever people make comments to me I soon tell them where to go, because it’s not anybody else’s decision to make, ever. Nobody has the right to tell other people how to live their lives, and people who try it are, in my opinion, disgusting.

  4. People without children need to be more vocal and show that there is more to life than having children. They should be proud to show that there is another way. The reason why most people believe that having children is the best way forward is because they do not know much about the alternatives. They are continuously bombarded with images of families with children. Only when childless people start being more vocal, will society sit up and listen.

    • Julez Fitzmond says

      Personally, I think it would help if more people who don’t have children actually knew how to deal with people who picked fault with their decision. Even now, when people who don’t know what happened to me ask about why I don’t have children, I tend to mumble something and change the subject – because I don’t particularly want to talk about it, but at the same time I know that unless I do, people are never going to understand.

      • Dawn Kells says

        People deal with the questions in different ways. I’ve gone through stages of giving proper answers and then at other times I tell people to mind their own business – which I know is rude, but people just don’t understand how much these questions can tire you! Maybe people should have a line or two ready to say to people to get the questions out of the way before they become a problem.

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