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Nisha’s Story: Just because I am good with children doesn’t mean I want some of my own

Single childless Indian womanI am 41 and have been the main carer for my mother since my father passed away 13 years ago. As one of two children and the only daughter, I saw it as my duty to be there for my mother in her times of need. She has suffered from poor health for many years and my father’s death made the situation worse. Caring for her in addition to holding a full time job means that I have my hands pretty full and frankly I don’t see myself dating anyone for the foreseeable future, let alone starting a family.

To be honest, I have never been that keen on having children even though I am constantly being told how great a mother I would be. That’s because I get on really well with my brother’s children. Funny how people like to jump to conclusion, particularly when it suits them. Just because I am good with children doesn’t mean I want some of my own. I suppose some of us are just different. I often hear how some women always dreamt of becoming mothers and I just cannot relate to them at all.

I do anticipate that down the line, when my mother passes away, that I may have to review my entire life. When that time comes, I will make whatever adjustments I will have to make. The idea of being on my own for the rest of my life does not frightened me. I am already preparing myself for that being the way my life ultimately turns out.

Living alone should not equate being lonely. I do have childhood friends I keep in touch with. I meet a couple of them for drinks and meals every now and then. As a keen user of the Internet, I know what’s out there if I ever wanted to expand my social circle. There is so much out there for me to get involved with that I am not worried about ever being lonely, or living like a recluse.

One of the perks of living with my mother is that I have been able to save far more than I would have had I lived on my own. I have more than enough to pay for a deposit on a house or a flat if ever I needed to. Whatever the future holds, I feel like the choices I have made have given me the tools I need to cope.

Would you like to share your story? Send it to: nina@nonparents.com

Comments

  1. Hi Nisha, thanks for sharing your story. I worked for an old people’s charity for many years and so, I am familiar with some of the issues you raise in your story. As your mother suffers from poor health and you work full time, I assume that she wears a care alarm around her neck, which she can press for help in an emergency. If not, Age UK, the charity for old people will be able to answer any questions you may have on the subject. I wish you the very best for the future.

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