Silvia’s Story: It takes events such as the death of a loved one to be reminded of what life is all about

Childless happy Asian womanI am writing this, sitting peacefully in my back garden, enjoying the view and all the wildlife that have made it their home. About 11 years ago was when my husband and I, after trying for many years to become parents, finally decided it was time to move on. Now both in our 50s, we are making the most of every moment, since life can be so unpredictable. A few years ago, we lost a friend to cancer. It hit us very hard. He and his wife had been like family to us. It takes events like this to remind us what this life is all about.

Not having children means that we are able to save a fair bit of our incomes and are on course to be mortgage free in the not so distant future. Whenever I hear stories of people who cannot seem to move on from not having children, I breathe a sigh of relief that somehow, we managed to make the transition. I read an article on this website asking why people always assume that having children would only bring them joy and I totally agree. Why indeed when we can all see how messed up today’s society is.

The more awful stories I read about, the more I feel as though if anything, we were lucky to not have had children. I know this statement may come across as a bit insensitive for people who have not yet fully made the transition, but I am afraid that’s how I feel. The amount of rubbish children are fed today, both on TV and online is simply frightening. Our current culture is completely obsessed with things that do nothing to increase the self-esteem of children. All it does is teach them to be shallow and thick. Let’s hope that this is a passing phase, because if not then you have to fear for the future of mankind.

There has been a sense of urgency to live a life as full as possible since our friend died. We will take early retirement as soon as the mortgage is paid off and we may even go travelling the world for a few months. In the meantime, we are already doing a fair bit of travelling. We went to Brazil last year and China the year before that. Life is a big adventure and we have learnt to enjoy it while we can and to never take anything for granted.

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Childless happy Asian woman


  1. Hi Silvia, thanks for sharing your story. The sense of urgency you mention is something I feel deeply too. An acquaintance of ours died in a car crash late last year. She was just 46. She was looking forward to moving into the new extension she had built in her house. Sadly, she passed away before it was completed. Just like the untimely death of your friend, her death was another reminder that none of us should ever take life for granted. I wish you and your husband the very best.

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