Andrew’s Story: I just don’t understand this obsession many people have with children

Childfree white manI have never quite understood all the fuss about having children, considering that most of the people I know with children are often quite unhappy. The idea that we should all choose to risk our happiness just because that’s what is expected of us, is simply ridiculous. Some of us are just not prepared to put our lives on hold for an experience that may turn out to be the worst decision we have ever made.

I am 61 and have been happily married for 30 years. My wife and I are childless by choice. All our friends are also childless. We never set out to exclude parents from our circle, it just happened that way. As you’ve probably guessed, I have very strong views when it comes to society’s obsession with children. For one thing, I believe that governments around the world should not encourage people to have large families. I don’t understand why the majority of people feel it’s so important to have a biological child when so many children are in the care system or living on the streets in the developing world.

It is true that children are the future and that the very future of the human race could be put at risk if everyone chose to be childless. But, with overpopulation being the reality of today’s world, there is absolutely no justification for people having large families.

When I look at what is happening in places like Africa, I cannot help but feel anger. Africa is home to some of the poorest people in the world, yet it also has one of the highest birth rates. How on earth are these poor people ever going to get out of poverty? And what about the resources needed to look after an ever growing population?

With all these social issues around, I cannot understand how anyone can criticise people like us for not wanting children. It angers me that no one ever seems to think of the bigger picture. It is always Me! Me! Me!

The refugee crisis that we are witnessing right now is what happens when family planning is not put at the forefront of government policy. You see all these young men desperate to escape poverty because they have nothing to look forward to in their own countries. And with all that in mind, there are still those in those parts of the world and here in the West who still believe that having large families is ok, and even worse, see people like us as odd for choosing not to procreate. What a crazy world we live in.

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Childfree white man


  1. Hi Andrew, thanks for sharing your story. I could not agree with you more about family planning being put at the forefront of policy everywhere. As an African by birth, I know first-hand how large families keep people in poverty. The sad truth is that no one seems to want to do anything about it because of vested interest within the upper echelons of society. And yes, you would have thought that the current refugee crisis would force some to act. But so far, it has been complete silence on the glaringly obvious fact that overpopulation is the root cause of what we are seeing. It is the elephant in the room everyone is desperately trying to pretend they cannot see. Very sad indeed.

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