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Are all the good moments over?

By Victoria Fryer 

One of the things that I’d imagine is exciting about having children is that there are always exciting moments ahead. You get pregnant (if you’re a woman). You bring life into the world. And then your child has a million milestones as he or she grows up—from the first laugh to the first step to high school and college graduations and their own weddings.

I guess sometimes I wonder if all my exciting moments in life are over.

When I was growing up, there was so much to look forward to. My own graduations. Moving out of my parents’ house. Falling in love (too many times over). Getting engaged. Getting married. Buying our first home.

But all those things have happened, now. What is there to look forward to? And the pessimistic side of me continues with thoughts about being almost middle-aged and having only things like graying hair, aching bones, and wrinkling skin to “look forward” to.

This is our life: We work our jobs—in pretty settled careers, as in, I’m not expecting to go back to school or have any major career changes in the future. We live in our home—and yes, eventually we’re going to renovate our bathroom, but I refuse to consider that an “exciting life moment.” Life is cyclical. Years pass through four seasons and then start over again. Even my job is cyclical, because I work in higher education and, in many ways, it’s the same old thing every year, watching other people’s excitement pass me by.

I’ve written a lot about goals in the past, and I wonder if I’m not just looking for something to reach for.

I wonder if other people feel this way, or if, perhaps, it’s just my inability to understand that things in life are still going to change, eventually. Just because I’m in a stable period currently doesn’t mean that life isn’t going to be different in five, ten years. It doesn’t mean that exciting things that I can’t really envision right now won’t happen.

Or, perhaps, I’m not trying hard enough to derive joy and excitement through other people’s lives. Both of my best friends have children, and my sisters-in-law had a baby early this year—my first niece through my husband’s family since we’ve been married.

Or maybe I don’t make a big enough deal about what I’ll call “micro-excitements”: Getting a promotion or a new job. Family members hitting key milestones in their lives. Buying special gifts for people I love at holidays and spending time with my family around a big table.

Do any of you feel like all the exciting moments in your life are over? If not, how do you avoid it?

Victoria Fryer is a 31-year-old writer and content strategist. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two pit bulls. You can find her on Twitter @extoria.

Childless by choice

Comments

  1. I suppose you cannot generalise it in this way. It will depend on where each individuals /couples are in their lives. For us, life is increasingly getting better, particularly since we have made peace with the idea that we are not going to become parents. There is a certain lightness of spirit that I feel most of time now, which I didn’t feel before. This is of course what happens when you make peace with life itself, as opposed to fighting it. For us, it is all about making the most of everyday. Every moment is precious, because tomorrow may never come. We are determined to see more of the world, not just by travelling abroad, but right here in our backyard.

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