The events that matter when you are childless

By Nina Steele 

August 3rd 2000, will always be a special day for me, for this is the day my husband and I met. Before our path crossed, I was in an unhappy relationship, with a man who was looking for a bit of fun, while I yearned to settle down. I seemed to be going from one unsuitable man to another, and was desperately hoping that my love life would not end up mirroring that of my mother, who as I wrote on this website many times before, had 7 children by 6 different men.

As a childless couple, our relationship is what we value the most, and so marking the anniversary of the day we came together matters. Funny enough, I make more of a fuss about that day than I do our wedding anniversary. This is of course related to the events I described above. We met at a time when I was in a bad place emotionally, and so that day marks a complete new chapter, whereas our wedding day can be described as a continuation of that new chapter.

And a complete new chapter it has proved to be, for both of us. My husband had been through a divorce and after that, he stayed single for a good few years before we met. I think it is fair to say that we were both relieved to discover that we were in it for the long haul.

September 2013 (I can’t remember the exact date) proved to be another milestone. For this was when I finally woke up to the fact that pursuing my dream of motherhood was having a negative impact on us as a couple and made the decision to move on.

Naturally, that too brought about a new chapter. Gone were all our plans about what we would do if we became parents, to be replaced with planning our life as a family of two.

This chapter has proved to be very rewarding, both in terms of our finances and the fact that we as people, have reached a level of maturity that comes with not being part of the mainstream. It has also been the catalyst for a major review of our life. Now that it is only going to be the two of us, our priorities have changed, and making the most of life while we still can has taken centre stage.

What are the events in your life that have left a lasting impact on you?


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