New year resolutions

By Nina Steele

As we prepare to celebrate a New Year, we are full of hope that it will be a better year than the one just past. I for one hope that the excitement that greets 2015 translates in real change, not just an opportunity to party. I suppose you can say that January 1st 2015 is just another day and so it should be treated as such and there is a truth in that. But of course it is not just another day, which is why many people have New Year’s resolutions. It is a new beginning and the expectation is always that it will be better and it can be better, only if we put the effort needed to make it so.

The mistake that many people make is to wish for a better year and real change, yet what they fail to grasp is that change is not something that happens on its own. You have to make it happen. If you don’t like your life as it currently is, then you have to have the courage and the will to make the necessary changes needed to create a better one. For example, if you are in an unhealthy and abusive relationship, wishing that your abuser will suddenly become a better person is futile. You know in your heart that the only way to create a better life for yourself is to have the courage to stand up for yourself or leave. Nothing else will do and certainly not a New Year. Similarly, if you find that your life has been put on hold for many years now because you have been unsuccessfully trying for a child, then hoping that 2015 will bring you luck is not enough. If it hasn’t happened all these years, why do you think that it will in the New Year? Why not make 2015 your make or break year? Give yourself a time frame by which you will finally move on if you are unsuccessful once again and stick with it and please don’t keep on expecting miracles. If no miracle has happened so far, why will it be different in 2015?

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, not because I cannot keep them but rather because I don’t see a need for it. I know what I have to do to have the life that I want and I will not shy away from making those decisions that will lead to that. For example, I know that being true to myself is what makes me happy and if that means upsetting a few people, then I am ready to take that chance. What I will not do is pretend to be something I am not in order to avoid upsetting others and making myself unhappy in the process. I am in no doubt about the fact that my happiness is up to me; I create my own life and the truer I am to myself the happier I will be. So 2015 will be a year not so different from the one just past, except that the older I get the more confident and courageous I become. Kindness has always been part of my life; I am happiest when I give and I will continue to do more of that, but equally, I will always strive to remain true to myself. Whatever your wishes are for the New Year, I hope you find the courage within yourself to not shy away from making those difficult decisions that will ultimately make you happy. Happy New Year!