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A refined perspective on my choice to be childfree

By Dann Alexander 

Over the last few years, my perspective on being childfree has evolved a little bit. Having written several articles on the subject, it has opened my eyes more to the world around me. I have read and heard stories of others who have faced significant prejudice for the choice they have made. Other stories of heartache have emerged from people who want to become parents. For health reasons, they are not able to build on the family unit. Those are stories I will keep reading.

It seemed not so long ago that when I was defending my choice, my response would be almost militant in nature. It would be very defensive. I might still react that way especially if feeling attacked. In more instances though, my response has tended to be refined towards detailed and guarded. My intention with writing my book Planned UnParenthood – Creating A Life Without Procreating, has been to educate and entertain at the same time.

Responding to an attack with a counter-attack cannot always be seen as productive in the discussion. I would much rather engage in discussion and healthy debate with readers whether they are parents or not.

I have found that many parents truly do not understand all the reasons why someone would choose not to have children. It is still difficult to explain to many people. People still might want to respond with the typical responses that most of you may have already read and heard. So my refined view might be simplified down to having more patience with the opposition viewpoints.

I feel strongly that it is still very important to defend the views and rights of those without children. Only that I now prefer to keep the tonality to a level of respect. I want it to reach a level where I could perhaps agree to disagree with someone and move on from there. I’m always in a position to forward them some links to articles from this site, and encourage them to read about not having kids.

Those of you without children, I would encourage you to do the same. Keep an open mind and engage people and their perspective politely.

If you are childfree or consider yourself childless, has anything on your perspective changed over your lifetime? Has there been something about those beliefs that has changed significantly? How has that affected your views on your life in general?

Based just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia Canada, Dann Alexander is the Author of Planned UnParenthood – Creating a Life Without Procreating which is available at Amazon and other online retailers. Twitter @WriterDann

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