Sandra’s Story: My parents’ divorce influenced my choice not to have children

Childless couple hikingI was 6 years old in 1976 when my parents divorced. As crazy as it sounds, my mother blamed my younger brother and I for my father leaving and took her anger out on us. The atmosphere in the house after my father left became very toxic. I am in no doubt that my decision not to have children is linked to those years of suffering at the hands of my mother. I hated the very idea of doing the same thing to a child.

Being the honest person that I am, I always made it clear to whoever I was dating that I didn’t want children, and every time, they said they understood my reasons and that they were ok with it. And then, a year or so down the line, they would try and make me change my mind. This went on for many years and by my mid-30s, I was resigned to the idea of never finding ‘The One’. As they say, it is when you are no longer looking that you find your soul mate, and even though I hate clichés, it turned out to be true in my case.

I met the man who is now my husband of 9 years, at a party I was invited to. We clicked instantly, and as typical of life, he was everything I wanted in a man, and crucially, he too didn’t want children. Needless to say that we have a great deal in common including our love for the outdoors. Even though we were both employed at the time, we wanted to start a business of our own, and eventually settled on running a Bed and Breakfast in The Lake District. What is great about our new life is that we get to make a living while also enjoying our passion for hiking.

It hasn’t always been plain sailing though. At first, my in-laws made it clear to my husband that they disapproved of our choice not to have children. They thought it was ‘unnatural’ for anyone not to want children. It made both of us pretty furious to the point of considering cutting ties with them. Thankfully, it didn’t have to come to that, as they eventually came to their senses. The fact that my sister-in-law made them grandparents for the first time might have had something to do with it.

Whatever lies ahead for us, I am confident that we will handle it the way we have always done, as a strong unit.

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  1. Thanks Sandra for a great story. Hiking is a passion that my husband and I share too. We have holidayed in The Lake District many times. I wish you continuous happiness and may your business continues to prosper.

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