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There is nothing glamorous about affairs: they are sleazy and destroy lives

By Nina Steele 

After reading the reviews for the much acclaimed BBC drama ‘Apple Tree Yard’, I decided it wasn’t for me. The last thing I wanted to do was watch a show, which some have accused of glamorising affairs. With so much unhappiness around us, all mostly self-created, I felt strongly that the last thing people needed was a show telling them that it is ok to cheat. I have witnessed the destructive power of affairs first hand, to know how much pain it can cause. There is absolutely nothing glamorous about it.

Being a BBC iplayer user however, it became increasingly difficult to ignore the show. Additionally, I had to accept that because of what I do as far as this website is concerned, I need to have a good understanding of everything that goes on in society.

For anyone not familiar with the show, it is an adaptation of a novel of the same name, and tells the story of a respected married female scientist (played by Emily Watson), who falls for a mysterious man. They embark on a passionate affair, which, based on previews of future episodes, will most likely end in tears.

After my first misgivings, I am glad that I watched the show, because, it is a reminder of how sordid affairs really are. The constant lying, the recklessness, like I said before, there is nothing glamourous about it.

At least Apple Tree Yard is just a show. Spare a thought for Nicola McGrath, the humiliated wife of comedian Rory McGrath, who not only had a five year affair, but nearly went to jail for stalking his lover for 14 months after she ended it. In spite of what he put his wife through, and the fact that he fell hopelessly in love with the other woman, she is standing by him. Pictures of the couple outside court are heartbreaking, because her pain is so visible.

We all make mistakes. There are things many of us did in the past that we would never contemplate doing again. No one ever said that this journey would be easy. Wisdom is acquired through trials and tribulations, it is the reality of being alive. What we should be wary of however, is the normalisation of behaviours that are clearly immoral. What society needs right now, is for people to be reminded of the benefits of living a life of good virtues, not encouraging them to misbehave.

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