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Philip’s Story: It took me a while to get used to the idea that mine would be a life on my own

I am childless by circumstance. I never married, although I would have liked to have been. I never imagined myself having children other than within a relationship and so being single has meant that I have naturally ended up not having any. Now in my 60s, having children is definitely no longer an option.

Like many people, starting out in life, I imagined that I would have a family and naturally have children. I never imagined that finding the right partner would be such a tall order. I came close to getting married twice, unfortunately both relationships ended and I have been single for quite some time now.

It took me a while to get used to the idea that mine would be a life on my own and although it was a difficult reality to accept at first, I have now come to terms with it. It was a case of finding the strength within to accept this as my life or remain bitter and resentful for the rest of my life, which I found rather depressing to say the least. I suppose looking back, what made it difficult was the fact that we live in such a family orientated society and being an older single person make you stand out and not in a positive way.

As they say, time is a great healer and although my life has not followed the path that I had initially planned for myself, I am now happy overall. I enjoy various hobbies and spend a great deal of my time volunteering. I am now of the firm belief that one should make the most of one’s life as it is, as opposed to spending the rest of your life dwelling on what could have been. I hope that anyone in similar circumstances can find some comfort in reading this.

Would you like to share your story? Send it to: [email protected]

Childless and single male

Comments

  1. Hi Philip, thanks for sharing your story. I know how difficult it can be to open up about issues surrounding childlessness. I am glad that you have been able to find some sort of peace and getting on with life. Being childless by circumstance is difficult at first, although as you have found out there is no other way but to find a way to move on with life. I wish you the very best for the future. Nina

  2. Good to know that you have somehow managed to get on with your life even though things have not turned out as you had planned.

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