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Meilin’s Story: Our decision not to have children is mainly financial

Childless Chinese womanI am a 38 year old UK citizen of Chinese descent. My husband and I are childless by choice. We met 7 years ago, and have been married for 4. Our decision not to have children is mainly financial. We are both in full time employment, yet the high cost of living in the UK means that money is often a problem. As it currently stands, we cannot afford a deposit on a home and so we are renters, and are likely to remain so for a few more years to come. It’s not for lack of trying. In fact we try to save every penny we can after all the bills have been paid, and our chosen lifestyle is as simple as it comes. With a future as uncertain as ours is, adding a child to the mix is simply not an option.

We could have done what many people do by having children and then seeking some help from the state. But of course that would only make our situation worse. The idea of struggling with a child in tow is something neither of us has the desire to try. At least we only have the two of us to worry about.

As I have no relatives left in the UK, I don’t have to face the type of pressure that some people who choose not to have children often have to face. As for my husband, he hasn’t discussed the issue with his parents. He doesn’t see the need to do so, and they haven’t mentioned it either.

We both cannot get our heads around the fact that some people who have never worked in their life have children, often, lots of them. It is all down to values I guess. If you were raised with a strong set of values, as we both were, there are certain things you just cannot do. The idea of having children and then relying entirely on state handouts to raise them, is as alien to us as working is to some of these people.

We all have to make do with whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. Whenever we are down, we have to remind ourselves of the fact that at least we live in a free country. There are millions of people around the world who would happily swap places with us in a heartbeat if they had the chance. We have each other, are healthy and can feed ourselves. That’s more than most people will ever have.

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Comments

  1. Hi Meilin. Thanks for sharing your story. The world would be a different place today if more people gave enough thought to what is involved in having children. Sadly, most of them don’t. They just have them and hope for the best. As for the UK housing market, the government needs to step in and make changes to the law that will make it very difficult for overseas investors to buy new homes. As it currently stands, developers advertise new homes to investors abroad even before they are built. That means young couples such as yourselves are priced out of the market. It is simply perverse and immoral that the authorities have allowed housing to be used in such a speculative manner. You know how much trouble a society is in, when instead of seeing a house as a place for people to live in, some only see it as an investment, often left to gather dust. Totally disgraceful.

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