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Every so often, we will be shaken out of our complacency and tendency to take life for granted

By Nina Steele 

Thinking Black WomanWe often do not realise how good we have it, until it’s too late. There are stories after stories of people who had everything going for them, yet kept wanting more, only to lose everything. Some people come to their senses eventually, and a user of this website summed this up beautifully in a conversation we had on Facebook recently. She and her husband tried and failed to conceive for many years and in the end, they had the courage to say enough is enough. Of that time she said: “I had the life I needed right there but just didn’t see it in all my desperation”.

I know exactly how that feels, and I am not just talking about our past experience of trying for a child. I am talking about life in general. The tendency most people have to believe that the grass is greener on the other side. I have had what I like to call ‘near misses’. Choices that I made that thankfully never materialised.

As I look back on my life, I can see a pattern emerging. An invisible hand has been steering me away from what would most certainly have turned into years of suffering. At the time, it didn’t feel like it of course. When I was making those choices, I thought I knew what was best for me. Now looking back, I can see that I didn’t have a clue.

Had those things I thought I wanted materialised, my life would have been completely different to what it is now. For one thing, Karma would be knocking on my door right now. Like I said in a previous post, 2020 is the year of reckoning for all of us. And I am grateful that by steering me away from those poor choices, the invisible hand saved me from potentially years of great suffering.

What I have learnt from my own experience is that most of the time, what we think we want, we already have. We cannot see it, because we allow ourselves to be distracted by outside forces. It is all part of growing up of course. Once we reach a certain level of growth and wisdom, we start to see things clearly and are able to make the right choices. Not everyone gets to that level of course. Some people will never be happy. It is a choice they have made for themselves, whether they realise it or not. For others like myself, the pull to be happy and live a peaceful life is so great that it ends up winning the day.

Thinking Black Woman

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