Tara Palmer-Tomkinson died childless yet her will leaves everything to the children she believed she was going to have

By Nina Steele 

News that the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson made a will in 2004, in which she left her estate to the children she was sure she was going to have one day, is a reminder that no one should make assumptions about their future, based on the lives of the people around them. She did the right thing by writing a will, however, because her two siblings were already settled down with children, she assumed that she too was destined for the same fate, not understanding that just because someone is your sibling does not mean your path should mirror theirs.

In my experience, this endless exercise of comparing one’s life with that of others, is one of the greatest sources of pain and suffering. That it is self-inflicted, as most of the sufferings we will encounter in our lives are, is what makes it so tragic. Here was a woman born into the kind of privilege most people can only dream of, yet, to her mind, that wasn’t enough. By wanting her life to be just like that of her siblings, she caused herself to be deeply unhappy. Had she focused her energy on all the positive things her privileged life afforded her, chances are that the story of her life would be different.

I have said it before and will say it again, just because your siblings have children does not mean you too were destined for the same fate. Comparing your life with that of those around you, is the surest way to unhappiness. When you have tried your best, it comes a time when you have to let things go, and accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. Most people know in their hearts when that time has come, yet choose to ignore the voice inside. You will always end up the loser, if you try to go against the wishes of the Universe.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s story is a reminder that peace, which is a prerequisite for happiness, is the greatest possession a person can have. There is nothing greater. It is the end game to this journey we call life. To have peace is to have everything. There can never be true happiness without it. The good news is, it’s available to all of us. The only caveat is that it requires some major shift in the way we view life, and those willing to put in the hard work, notwithstanding the challenges that will inevitably arise, will get their just rewards.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

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