Menu 

Why Apple Tree Yard is a cautionary tale for all of us

By Nina Steele 

Apple Tree YardWatching the last episode of Apple Tree Yard was quite infuriating at times, because of the sheer naivety of the main character, Dr Yvonne Carmichael. Considering that the man she had been having an affair with was shown to be a fantasist, she still somehow believed that their brief liaison was real. That he betrayed her by revealing to his defence lawyer that they had an affair, when they had agreed to keep it secret, didn’t matter. You would think that a woman of her standing would have wanted nothing to do with him ever again after she was acquitted of murder, instead, her delusion was such that, she couldn’t help herself visiting him in jail. The whole story may be a work of fiction, but the central theme within it, namely, the reality of being in a loveless marriage, speaks to us all.

Indeed, the subject of loveless marriages is one that will have struck a chord with many people everywhere. If you have been married for a long time, chances are that you have been through a time when the passion no longer burnt as bright as it did when you first met. Some people choose to separate when that happens, while many others stay together for one reason or another. If you stay together, the challenge is to find a way of redefining the relationship so that it doesn’t feel like a prison sentence, which Apple Tree Yard depicts so well.

Having been married for a few days short of 16 years, what I have learnt is that sex can be a destructive force, unless you find a way of controlling it. It doesn’t help that we are constantly bombarded with advice about how much sex we should expect in our marriages. There is no such thing as a one size fits all, what works for one marriage, may not work for another, and that’s absolutely fine. And why is sex in a relationship put on such a pedestal? What about focusing the relationship on the characters of those within it? Is your husband or wife inherently a good person? Are they kind? Do they respect you? Do you feel like they will always be there for you, no matter what? If you answer yes to all those questions, then you are a very lucky person.

To have someone who you know, loves and cares about you a great deal, should never be taken for granted. This type of people are rare and if you happen to be married or in a relationship with one, hold on to them with everything you’ve got, because if you let them slip away, you may never find anyone like them again. When the Universe puts a good person in your path and you choose to let them go, because of your own lack of judgment and wisdom, karma demands that you never find true happiness again. I will refrain from naming a few celebrities who are now paying a price for their folly, all those years ago. A few of them women, are now growing old alone, and complaining of loneliness.

As you get older, you realise that having a solid companion by your side is what really matters. I am not advocating that you stop having sex, only that you should never let it become the central part of your relationship. As Apple Tree Yard has shown, sex can destroy a good relationship if you let it.

Speak Your Mind