Why we will be having a quiet celebration for my husband’s 50th birthday

By Nina Steele 

It has become de rigueur in many quarters to have a lavish party when someone turns a certain age, and turning 50 certainly qualifies for that. In a few weeks, my beloved husband will turn 50 and just like when I turned 40, we have decided to have a quiet celebration. Just the two of us.

One thing that binds us together as a couple, is our outlook on life. We both have known for some time that happiness is to be found from within, and have worked hard (and still do) at making it happen, by being true to ourselves.

If there is one thing we both dislike more than anything, it is to live our life based on what is in fashion and what everyone else around us is doing. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that the only outcome for living your life this way, is unhappiness.

We both like nothing more than quiet times together, doing the things that we enjoy doing. Or doing our own things separately, in peace. That yearning for a simple life extends to every aspect of our life, which is why we didn’t see the need to make a fuss about my husband turning 50.

We are both naturally grateful for the fact that he is in good health and that as a couple, we are getting stronger as the years go by. And so, his birthday will be a day filled with gratitude.

The older I get, the more obvious it becomes that the only way to maintain a happy and healthy marriage is to share the same values. It doesn’t matter how much you fancy each other, if you don’t share the same values, you will either stay together and make each other miserable, or you will end up going your separate ways. There is no middle ground.

I watched a video of Oprah Winfrey recently in which she makes the same point. She was giving advice to a group of girls that she sponsors through her charity in South Africa. In the piece, she tells them that values will determine whether a relationship survives or not. She also points out that she has had to sever ties with some family members because they didn’t share the same values, and I am in total agreement with her on that.

Because we share the same values, having a quiet celebration came naturally to both of us.