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Sandrine’s Story: How I learnt to find strength in my infertility

Childless black womenI have been struggling with infertility since 2014. That same year, after going through various medical tests, I was found to have two blocked fallopian tubes, and a lot of fibroids. The doctor advised me to have surgery in order to remove the fibroids.

In 2015, I started a new relationship and told my then partner about my struggles to conceive. At first he was supportive, and reassured me that I could count on him to be there for me. Around the same time, a hormonal blood test revealed that I had Primary Ovarian Insufficiency. It meant that I needed egg donation in order to conceive.

I was devastated, and refused to accept the test result. I wanted the opinions of several other doctors before I could accept my diagnosis. In the end, I saw a total of 7 gynaecologists and all confirmed what I already knew.

Psychologically, I was suffering and as if this wasn’t enough, my relationship with my then boyfriend was crumbling as well. He stopped being the supportive man he was when we first met, and refused to accompany me to the hospital, whenever I had appointments. When I confronted him, he became violent and beat me up. That was ten days before I was due for surgery to remove my fibroids.

In the black community, as a woman, there is a lot of shame attached to being childless not by choice. You often have to go through the whole journey on your own, with no support network. Which is why I decided to become an advocate for those women.

I started a youtube channel to bring awareness of issues related to infertility in the black community, and to educate people about egg/sperm donation. In France, where I am from, there is a lack of egg and sperm donors from the black community.

I have learned to find strength in my infertility, and even though I have not yet given up completely, I am now resigned to the fact that I may never have a biological child of my own. I have also come to accept that ultimately, I may end up childless, if adoption doesn’t work either. I hope to make a difference in the lives of others by sharing my feelings, my pains and all the knowledge I have acquired through the various research I have done.

You can follow Sandrine on facebook, and on youtube

Would you like to share your story? Send it to: [email protected]

Childless black women

Comments

  1. Hi Sandrine,
    Thanks for sharing your story. I am glad that you too are doing your bit to educate people on issues related to infertility. Yes there is quite a lot of work to be done to enlighten the masses, particularly as you rightly put it, those within the black community. I wish you all the best with your youtube channel.

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