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Why Carol Drinkwater is a role model for people without children

By Nina Steele 

Carol Drinwater

Carol Drinkwater

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of interviewing Carol Drinkwater, the award winning actress and bestselling author, as part of my Q&A series. I had read her book ‘The Forgotten Summer’ and not only did I thoroughly enjoy it, I was also intrigued by the fact that childlessness was one of the main topics in the book. A search of the author confirmed what I had suspected, that Carol was herself a non-parent.

Like me, Carol is childless not by choice and has accepted her path wholeheartedly. In the Q&A, she comes across as a strong woman, determined to make the most of life, come what may. I absolutely love that attitude in people. Self-pity for me is very unattractive, because for one thing, it is always counterproductive. When you dwell in self-pity, you make yourself into a victim of life, and once you do that, it is difficult to escape.

In a recent interview she gave to promote her book, Carol says: “I believe you are given a hand of cards and it’s up to you to make the most of it”. That is exactly my take on life. Every time things don’t go my way, I search for the hidden lesson in it, because there is always one. Always. I learn whatever there is to learn, pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving. As I like to say, I never stay down for too long. Setbacks will happen, and like everything else in life, they too will pass.

When I asked Carol what advice she would give women who cannot have children and believe they will never be happy because of it? Her answer was quite thorough and touched upon most of the issues that childless not by choice people often have to wrestle with. She said: “I was there. I believed that I was an incomplete woman because I was never going to be a mother. I have worked through that. Acceptance is important and then looking about to see what you do have rather than dwelling on the negatives. It is a BIG issue. It takes a lot of coming to terms with. Hopefully, you have a partner who supports you and loves you for who you are and not what you might have delivered to the marriage. The world is full of lost and parentless children if parenthood is an essential then open your heart to some poor child who needs you. We considered adoption but eventually I/we chose to live our lives the way we do. M has daughters from a first marriage so it was not a visceral need for him, to be a father again. I still occasionally wonder what a child born of M and I would have been like, but I am content. I don’t dwell on it. I have made a life and given those energies to others in very different ways”.

Thank you Carol for being an inspiration and a positive role model for childless people everywhere.

Carol’s book The Forgotten Summer, is on sale on Amazon

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