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Leah’s Story: I have walked away from relationships because of the children issue and won’t hesitate to do it again

Childless by choice womanWhenever I hear people complain about how difficult it is to be a parent, my first thought is to remind them that it was a choice they made. It’s like me complaining about the fact that I am childless, even though it’s a choice I made. I won’t get away with it, so why do parents think they can?

I chose not to have children because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional side of things, not to mention the whole cost of bringing up a child. I still remember my parents arguing about their different styles of parenting and the endless worrying about money. They were far from happy. My mother used to say to me whenever I was being difficult that I will know one day what it feels like to be parent, when I have children of my own. Well, I am glad that I won’t have to after all.

I am single not by choice, and hope that whoever ‘the one’ ends up being, that we will see eye to eye on this issue. If not, I won’t hesitate to walk away. I have done so before and will do it again if I have to. I make sure that it’s one of the first subjects I bring up whenever I meet a potential partner. I don’t want to waste my time and that of the other person by leaving it too long.

With what is going on in the world as we speak, I am glad that I don’t have to continuously reassure a child that the world is not about to come to an end. I find it strange that people like us are often asked to justify our choice not to have children, as if the world is such a great place to bring up a child. It is a shame that family planning and encouraging people to have less children is still not on the agenda for most governments around the world. I find it highly irresponsible, particularly in those parts of the world where the future looks bleak for young people.

It is a relief to know that I am not contributing to damaging the earth by saddling it with more humans. There are already too many of us and the resources needed to look after us are dwindling. When will people wake up to the fact that having far less children or none at all is what is needed right now? I hope I will see a change in attitudes in my lifetime.

Would you like to share your story? Send it to: nina@nonparents.com

Comments

  1. Hi Leah, thanks for sharing your story. I agree with everything you said, particularly about governments around the globe doing nothing to curb population growth. They have a lot to answer for. Overpopulation is still the elephant in the room. What these governments seem to forget is that the very stability of their countries is at stake if people continue to multiply without enough resources to cater for the needs of everyone. The developing world particularly is a ticking time bomb with so many young people with not much to do. In the past they could be contained because they didn’t know what was happening in the rest of the world, apart from what they were being fed through government controlled news media. That’s all a thing of the past now, since the proliferation of the internet and social media. The Arab spring may never have happened without social media. Their inaction will most certainly come back to haunt them.

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